I’ve been depressed for a long time…
I haven’t been myself…
Here’s the truth
I just landed in my hometown of Vancouver from a one month trip to Europe.
Now many people would be excited to be back home…Back to where you know best.
But that wasn’t the case for me at all. In fact, I went through a very deep depression which has gone on all the way to this day.
And many can say, oh it’s probably a travel hangover or maybe you just enjoyed your vacation too much.,,
But the truth is, I wasn’t happy in this city before I left and anytime I leave Vancouver, it’s a reminder that there’s a bigger world outside of this city.
Add in the issues going on around the world (Sudan, Gaza, Congo, etc…), I found it hard to stay focused.
Navigating Mental Health
I’ve always had to battle with my mental health.
I think we’ve all experienced some sort of trauma in our lives…
Whether it be in our youth, teens, early adulthood or later on in life.
Everyone’s experience is different and we all go through different life struggles.
For me, it will just hit me out of the blue,
I’ll get a little more quiet, my overall mood and vibe is lower and I’m just a little discouraged with daily life.
And of course many of us hide it through our smiles, but sometimes it can be noticeable.
This time though…It really hit me.
To the point where it was becoming noticeable…
I wasn’t really responding to messages from people.
I wasn’t smiling as much.
I was just sleeping or in my room anytime I found that I wasn’t working.
I was always playing FC24 on my spare time (Or Fifa)
And I just didn’t want to go out to see people, and when I did I didn’t want to be there…
Chasing Passion and Purpose
Now I usually fall into a depressive state when I’m unsure with the direction I’m taking in my life or if I know I’m not fulfilling my full potential.
So anytime I find myself lost or confused with the direction I’m going, I get depressed.
I know my potential and ambitions so I always strive for the best for myself.
Now some transparency…
The last couple of months have been tough because I finally came to the realization that I need to add another project to my life…
And that project would have to have way more meaning to anything I’ve ever done before.
I liked what I was doing, but at the end of the day it wasn’t my project.
The decisions weren’t mine, if things didn’t work out, I didn’t have a plan B, and I just didn’t feel like I had any control of my life.
I knew deep down in my heart that I can continue what I’m doing, but I need to add something else that was truly meaningful to me.
I needed my own project and to start taking my life into my own hands.
I needed to go back to the 2017 visionary Ibrahima that started his own photography business and clothing brand…
Discovering My Purpose
So how did I respond?
I decided to start running again…but not for the same reasons many do..
I started running to prove to myself that I still had it.
At this stage, I truly lost my confidence in myself and I couldn’t imagine myself being a winner.
I wasn’t experiencing big wins and it started to discourage me.
So I had to run…to show myself that I could set a goal and achieve it.
And I did just that run by run.
And I got my first big win on the first day of 2024…I ran my first ever half marathon.
Since then I’ve been trying different things…
I deleted all the social media apps from my phone (besides Youtube and WhatsApp).
I took a break from social media to focus on myself.
I created a website selling my wristbands…which I was to scared to share it with the world.
I bought a Playstation Camera and tried to stream…but it just wasn’t for me.
I took a step back and a lower role in the project I was working on to focus on my strengths which has given me more clarity overall in my life and career.
I even looked at different career paths….but I’m not looking for another job…I like what I do.
I just want to take control of my life and run my own personal project.
I’ve been trying so many things for myself…but nothing really sticked..until maybe now?
Embracing Myself and Staying Authenticity
I then decided library for a change of scenery while asking my closest friends for advice.
I’ll typically get some work done, but also do research for myself.
So I started doing those quizzes and personality tests online.
I’m not usually the biggest fan of them, but I had to understand myself.
And I did that while asking my friends on perspective and tips.
That’s where it clicked one day.
I took one test and I realized a couple things.
I’m not someone who likes to always talk, but I can share insightful thoughts that many might be curious about.
I’ve gotten to my dream shape with my health, I’ve worked and met some of my favourite public figures online, and I’ve travelled and gone to some of the greatest athletes play not just once but multiple times (Messi, Lebron James, Neymar, Milan Derby)
And one of my friends had mentioned that I wasn’t giving myself enough credit on things I’ve done so far in my life.
Add that with my current skillset career wise, I know how to run a project online and get it to where it needs to be.
To the point where I get reached out to all the time by people to help out with their projects…which I honestly was not looking to get into.
The problem wasn’t scarcity, I knew what I could do, I just didn’t know it for myself.
So why not share it with the world?
Why not share your personal experiences with health & fitness, career, networking, Islam and mental health while offering tips & tricks to someone out there who might be a little lost.
I’m truly happy in my life…but I’m lacking purpose..
I know there’s a lot I’ve experienced in life that can help others.
I’ve always wanted the best for myself and I’ve always worked towards that
Health, wealth, love and happiness as many would say.
That’s when I decided to start this blog.
I was at the library and I just stumbled on blogging…
I’ve done this in the past, but very briefly…
I created Youtube videos, but I’m not a creative person and I typically like to expand on my points so talking about it doesn’t always come out in the right way for me.
Writing just made sense for me cause I can reflect and really understand what I’m writing
My Vision
So it’s now here…I’ve launched my blog.
I bought a program on how to start my blog and how to start making a living off it.
It’s going to be a learning curve…everything is.
But for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m finally making use of my strengths while staying authentic with it.
I’m not relying on anyone to make my vision a reality…and I think this blog is the first step.
With this blog, I’ll be sharing my personal experiences while offering a variety of tips to help you get kickstarted in your journey.
I’ll talk about how I got my health to where I want it to be and how you can figure out your system.
I’ll discuss how I’ve been able to go to certain events while many simply watch it on TV.
I’ll also share how I’ve met and worked with public figures online…
And of course, I’ll share some affiliate links on products I personally use and recommend for yourself to help you invest in yourself in the right way…
That would also support me and help me make this blog dream a reality.
Why Abstract X Authenticity
Honestly….I couldn’t find any other name since every other name is taken in 2024 😅
But it made sense for me because I’ve always discussed staying authentic and Abstract is kind of like a different way of thinking so I decided to combine both.
Whether it will stay or not we will see, but I’m happy for now. I think I want to add the “X” in the middle but we’ll see for now
Conclusion
So that’s it…for now!
I appreciate anyone who reads this blog.
One other thing about doing a blog is the fact that it takes commitment to actually read a blog so those who actually are interested will take the time to read it.
Maybe I’ll write a book, maybe I’ll coach, I don’t know, we’ll see for now…
I will do my absolute best to help you navigate through your as I’m also figuring out mine.
Salam/Peace
PS. I’ll add some links below on some resources and products that have really helped me with my life